Boredom

The UBES Cave-Butterfield Detective Agency

Worried that your wife may leave you? Butterfield had the original answer, George's UBES take has the new solution. 08/09 committee members provide the personalities.

Whack-a-dave

In recognition of the life-long dedicated to UBES that Daves (1-13 inc.) have given us, here we present Whack-a-dave. Currently lacking in character variety, but entertaining non-the-less.

2 Boys 1 Lake

The highly anticipated sequel to the similarly named naked adventure, this episode thankfully features no full frontal nudity, and has been awarded a BBFC of 12A. Some scenes may be unsuitable for young children, or older parents, for that matter.

Chris Hannon: Hold Your Breath

Too close for missiles, Chris switched to double ice axe attack in his very own vertical limit adventure. Watch the video to find out why he failed his casting for the K2 based action film.

I used to work in Chicago...

...that's what she said! One duck, two hens, shoot your load in a toad!

How Many 5-year olds could you take in a fight?

The question that...in the words of Jeremy Clarkson...is on the lips of the nation. Just how many 5 year olds could you take in a fight? Results are based on physical prowess, training, swarm-combatting experience, and the flexibility of your moral compass. The children are merciless and will show no fear, and if a child is knocked unconscious, he is "out." The same goes for you. Good luck.

Current Totals: Tom (30), Ali (27), Dancing (20), Alex (11)

Phil Bassindale's TV Debut

"All my friends are morris dancers". See Phil in action on Points West. He is the first in the line of 3 people dancing in the opening 2 seconds of the video.

Mr.January: Matt "Naked" Turner

Fresh from his lakeside photoshoot, UBES managed to catch up Matt "Naked" Turner, the latest modelling sensation to hit the streets of Bristol. This exclusive full body portrait was taken from his recent Page 3 appearance in a well known magazine.

Photograph by George Cave.

Which Fresher are you?

Do you take Sainsbury’s Cognac to the pub in a plastic bottle to mix with your soft drink? Have you ever tried to kiss a horse? Have you ever passed a reflective surface and not styled your hair? Find out which fresher you are with this handy guide.

Gareth: Mountain-dwelling beast

Little does anyone know, though we have all suspected it, Gareth is actually an ancient mountain-dwelling beast from welsh folklore. Gareth is the last surviving of the Mad Hwyad creatures, who used to live high upon the crags and steep faces of Welsh mountains.

VUBES

Virtuous? Verbose? Valued? Virulent? Vigilant? Vicarious? Violent? Virile? Voracious? Villainous? Vacant? Vigorous? Valid? Vindictive? Virtuoso? Visionary? Viscous? Vivacious? Vivid? Vocal? Volatile? Voluptuous? Vehement? Vain? Vulgar? Victims? Veterans? Vacuous? Venezuelan? Very Viking?

All of these and more!

Storytime with UBES

Now children, are you all sitting comfortably? A selection of Mills & Boon inspired bedtime stories follow, authored word by word in the Lakes for your personal enjoyment. (some words censored for younger readers). Settle down and enjoy the delights of Olivia's Threesome and Taj and his Horse.

Grandma Lyss

“If all else fails a nice early night with your hot water bottle will sort you right out”

All your problems solved with Grandma Lyss...

Would like to meet...

UBES has facilitated many relationships over the years so if you’re sitting at home alone don’t despair we can help. Neil is standing by, help is at hand!

Tamlyn's Saga

Let me tell you a saga of high adventure and low intelligence in the frostbitten mountains of the north… Our hero was the hairiest hero of them all, the mighty Tamlyn, the scrawny man of Surrey. The tale continues...