Gareth

Little does anyone know, though we have all suspected it, Gareth is actually an ancient mountain-dwelling beast from welsh folklore…

Gareth is the last surviving of the Mad Hwyad creatures, who used to live high upon the crags and steep faces of Welsh mountains. Their love of great exposure and f*cking long trad routes made them inseparable from the hills. It was at the brutal battle of Lyn y Van Vach between his kind and the Bendith Y Mamau (golden haired fairies) that all of the Mad Hwyad, except him, were killed.

The Bendith Y Mamau fairies used to steal human children to improve their own stock with mortal blood. Unfortunately, the smaller statute of the Mad Hwyad confused the fairies. They would often mistake them for human children whenever they came down to lower ground to collect food or water. The fairies would wildly pounce upon a pack of Mad Hywad and drag them back to their caves. Here, once realising their mistake, the fairies barbarically vented their anger upon the poor captured Mad Hwyad.

As time passed the Mad Hwyad, normally a peace seeking species, got so pissed off with the Bendith Y Mamau fairies they all came down from the cliffs to fight the fairies in the most savage of battles at Lyn y Van Vach. Almost all of the fairies were killed, along with all of the Mad Hwyad, expect Gareth. A few lucky fairies managed to crawl off the bloody battle field and fled to East Anglia, where they now live in fear of Gareth returning to complete their ultimate destruction. The fairies however are safe, for Gareth, the true Mad Hwyad he is, has an unrelenting love for crags and hills, which does not allow him to go any more than one week away from any rock. Therefore, Gareth will never have the will to make it across the country to the great flat planes of East Anglia to hunt out the last of the fairies. Instead their remaining presence will haunt Gareth until the ends of his days.